Letting a person who means the world to you go is hard.
It feels like the end of the world every time, but time, reason, and sensibility work together quite well.
As they say 'sometimes doing the right thing is the toughest'. Yes, it is tough, but knowing you are doing the right thing helps. A LOT. Living through an end is feasible, because obviously, apart from eternal grieving, it is the only way.
I knew from the start that us was never an option. I still do.
But having this and his silence as the only reasons to let go is not enough, because these reasons are open to interpretation and this is what my brain happily does.
There's always this point of no return when you realise 'ok I cannot live like that. I had enough and I absolutely cannot carry on. This is clearly not working out and we are done. I believe I am better off without you'.
From this point recovery starts, and after some time your wellbeing just goes up.
With overwhelming love, perfect memories, promises, and (some) determination to let go being the only things available, it has been impossible to hit recovery so far.
I make this decision to let go and carry on every month because YES I know I have to, and even if I feel better for a bit, it always strikes back. There were more than 10 failed attempts so far.
I know that no matter how much I miss him, he is not coming back.
Looks like an ultimate challenge. Because breakup is for pussies.
